Today has been a crazy day. But tonight as I sit in my quiet home in front of my pretty Christmas tree, I am feeling very thankful. I am so thankful for God's grace and love for me. I am thankful that he meets me right where I am. I am thankful he looks at me as his beloved daughter, imperfect but beautiful. I'm very grateful that in the chaos God is my peace and focus. I'm thankful that he is teaching me more of who he is every day. I am thankful of his great love for me and each one of us. I'm grateful that he loves everyone more than I love them. I am thankful he is deeply compassionate and abounding in love. I am grateful he gives me everything I need exactly when I need it. His provision is perfect and he does not fail me. I feel so blessed that God has done so much in my life that I could not remember it all to write down.
Though the blog has been quite, this past year has been a season of growth for me. God has met me in ways I never would have imagined. I continue to learn how his love abounds for me and yet I still can't grasp the depth of it. Even when my life circumstances are unsteady God is sovereign; he provides exactly what I need when I need it. He is transforming my heart to be even more compassionate, empathetic, forgiving, and merciful. I don't know yet what he has in store for me but I know it is something quite large and unimaginable. It's terrifying yet exciting to think of what the future might hold; I have found that I continually need to remind myself of God's great love as I shudder at his mightiness. Even though the Lord has revealed to me that he has great plans for my life, I tend to get lost in worries when I see that circumstances and resources don't seem to be adding up in a way that would promote success. I struggle with a very real fear of suffering and discomfort. I am afraid that God will call me to suffer greatly and or to die for him. I guess that means that I am still holding onto my own dreams, my own desires for what I want my life to be. I know that God does not forget me, that he won't forsake me, and I have assurance of heaven. But for some reason I long for assurance that my life here on earth will be good. I'm not really sure where this fear comes from. God has already told me that he has great plans and is well on the path to carrying out those plans for me. I need to ask the Lord to take this fear away and give me assurance of his protection, and love for me. I also need a reminder that I was not made for this world, no, I was made to dwell in safety; to walk alongside my God in peace.
Hebrews 6:10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.
Hebrews 6:17-20 So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.
You can learn a lot about yourself when things go wrong. This week I had to have my car towed to a mechanic. I have been without it for 5 days and will be for another 2 days. It was extremely stressful to not have my car. I had to figure out how I was going to get to work without a vehicle. And I didn't know how I was going to afford the repairs it needed. BUT God. But God worked everything out. God provided - quickly, conveniently, and blessedly. Between roommates, co-workers, and friends I had a ride to and from work everyday. I was able to go grocery shopping, spend time with friends, and get to church this morning. God knew exactly what I needed before I asked him for it and provided more abundantly then my needs called for. He just poured out his love on me. Feeling BLESSED and LOVED greatly this week.
And God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.