11 March 2014

I was never Content Being Single

Founders Note: Today on the blog we have Beka from The I love You's, we connected with Beka via email and we asked her to guest post, and were so glad we did! She is sharing her heart on singleness, which is something that I (Britney) can relate to being in a season of singleness. So, be sure to check out her blog at the links below!

Hey there! My name's Beka Castille, and I'm a newlywed living in rural Tennessee. I currently work at a locally owned greenhouse, but I ultimately desire to be a mother someday soon and stay home as a full-time blogger. Counseling others, reading, writing, and traveling are some of my favorite things to do. The I Love You's is a blog where I ramble about homemaking, newly married life, faith, and living a joyful & passionate life!!


I'm just going to come out and say it:

I was never content with being single.

Now, let me explain before you jump to conclusions.

Sure, I was content knowing that God knew all the days ordained for me before one of them came to be (Psalm 119), and I wasn’t anxious in my singleness. I had plenty to do and so much to learn. I was joyful. But I wanted to be married. And I wasn't ready to apologize for that.

People in the church so often speak of singleness as if it’s next to Godliness. Or that by longing for marriage while you’re single you’re somehow communicating to God that He isn’t enough for you.

And then, *bam*, suddenly, once you’re content, God will reward you with a spouse! Good job! You suppressed your God-given desires and proved to Him that you didn’t need anyone in your life, so now the Lord will give you what you wanted.

I’ve read all the books. I’ve heard all the talks. I’ve heard Christians talk about singleness in this way, and I believe it’s wrong.

If you’re a woman who loves Jesus and wants to be married and have babies and be a wife and a mother, or if you're a man who desires a wife and a family to lead and love – why is it wrong to desire or even prepare for that? If you're burning with passion (1 Cor. 7) as Paul so appropriately puts it, is it somehow less Godly to long for a spouse? It almost seems absurd to say that insisting on contentment in a prolonged state of singleness is a virtue.

Now, let's stop for a moment. We must also remember:

God gives us what we need in season. Everything that is given to us or allowed to happen to us is for our sanctification and altogether for His glory. Whether this be singleness for longer than expected, or marriage when the world is telling you to wait. (1 Thess. 4:3, Rom. 11:36, Col. 1:16)

This is what I've come to realize over the last couple of years: the Lord has you where you are because He is most glorified in your current season of life than where YOU think you ought to be.

If you’re single, don’t for a moment think that it’s because you’re not content enough or even that you’re not “ready” for a spouse yet.

Because really, I'm really not that "qualified" for marriage. I'm overly-emotional. I miss spots when I’m cleaning the bathroom. I’m not the greatest driver. I often laugh at inappropriate times and still chicken out when I have to call to make a doctor’s appointment. I don’t any great skills and I ramble a lot when I talk.

But you know what? God, in His divine sovereignty, knew that marriage for me at the tender age of eighteen was going to be more sanctifying for me than if I was still single. My Heavenly Father is more glorified through my life as a married woman than if I was single. This is evidenced right now in His perfect plan of marriage for me. His grace is so breathtaking.

Never stop living a life of thankfulness to Him because remember – whether single or married, lonely or living with an abundance of relationships, God is sanctifying you as His workmanship, and for His very special purposes.


  1. Exactly. Some of us are called to be married someday and other are called to be single. It really bothers me that so many confuse being in a particular season with a calling. Personally, I have *always known that I supposed to be a wife and mommy. The fact that it hasn't happened quite yet does not mean that it will never happen.

    1. so true! I loved how Beka made that point as well.

  2. love this so much!!! God gives us the desire for marriage & relationship with one another so that is definitely not something to apologize for! :) the desire is natural but when we turn it into idolatry that's when it becomes sin - just like anything else that is turned into an idol! love your thoughts!

    1. So true! I have a desire for marriage and children but it hasn't happened yet, and that's okay.

  3. This is absolutely what I needed and right when I needed it. This blessed me immensely!

    1. I'm so glad! It encouraged me as well, i love this post!

  4. So well said. Never thought of it this way but I completely agree. AMEN!!! Thanks for sharing your heart :)


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