God has been really working on my heart lately. Recently he is teaching me more about his deep love and true forgiveness. Showing me that the depths of his mercy are certainly far greater than the depths of mine and indeed greater than I could ever imagine.
God showed me that in my process of attempting to forgive, pride was my barrier. (You'd think it would be obvious right?) Well it wasn't obvious to me right away. But in his gentle and pure grace filled way, God showed me that his forgiveness, and my forgiving someone, has no "buts" about it. God is calling me to love like he loves. And that means I can't hold on to any "buts". I can't say "Okay God, I'll love them since you asked so nicely, but... I'm going to make sure they know what I think." Nope. That's not how it works. God is showing me that I have to give up any and all rights I have in the situation (aka pride). There is no entitlement in forgiveness. Forgiveness requires total self-sacrifice, its self-less love.
I am still learning forgiveness in this situation, I have definitely not arrived. But God's grace is sufficient for me. If any new lessons come up I'll be sure to update you here.
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.